主页 > X好生活 >梅根X蜜雪儿欧巴马的教养哲学:当妈妈,是一次次学习「放手」 >




新手妈咪梅根・马克尔(Meghan Markle)在九月份英国 《Vogue》 杂誌向美国前第一夫人蜜雪儿・欧巴马(Michelle Obama)提问,两个妈妈们展开了对母职、教养的六问六答。

带你一起看,两位妈妈们经历了哪些互相激荡的对话,让蜜雪儿・欧巴马最后告诉梅根:「享受这一切吧!」(Savour it all!)



You sent me the kindest message on Mother’s Day this year. What has motherhood taught you?


Being a mother has been a masterclass in letting go. Try as we might, there’s only so much we can control. And, boy, have I tried – especially at first. As mothers, we just don’t want anything or anyone to hurt our babies. But life has other plans. Bruised knees, bumpy roads and broken hearts are part of the deal.


Motherhood has taught me that, most of the time, my job is to give them the space to explore and develop into the people they want to be. Not who I want them to be or who I wish I was at that age, but who they are, deep inside.


Motherhood has also taught me that my job is not to bulldoze a path for them in an effort to eliminate all possible adversity. But instead, I need to be a safe and consistent place for them to land when they inevitably fail; and to show them, again and again, how to get up on their own.




What advice do you give your daughters?

蜜雪儿:不要像当年的我一样,只是把应该要做的事情,一个一个从清单里打勾完成。我告诉她们,我希望她们不断地尝试新经验,直到感觉对了。而你前一天感觉对的事,不一定今天也有同样的感觉,这是 OK 的,甚至很棒的。

Don’t just check the boxes you think you’re supposed to check, like I did when I was their age. I tell them that I hope they’ll keep trying on new experiences until they find what feels right. And what felt right yesterday might not necessarily feel right today. That’s OK – it’s good, even.


When I was in college, I thought I wanted to be a lawyer because it sounded like a job for good, respectable people. It took me a few years to listen to my intuition and find a path that fit better for who I was, inside and out.


Becoming who we are is an ongoing process, and thank God – because where’s the fun in waking up one day and deciding there’s nowhere left to go? That’s something I wish I’d recognised a little earlier. As a younger woman, I spent too much time worrying that I wasn’t achieving enough, or I was straying too far from what I thought was the prescribed path.


What I hope my daughters will realise a little earlier is that there is no prescribed path, that it’s OK to swerve, and that the confidence they need to recognize that will come with time.




How would that advice be different if you were offering it to sons? Or would it be the same?


It would be exactly the same. My parents, particularly my father, taught my brother and me at an early age to treat boys and girls exactly the same. When I was still in elementary school, my dad bought my brother a pair of boxing gloves. But when he came home from the store, he was carrying not one, but two pairs of gloves. He wasn’t going to teach his son to punch without making sure his daughter could throw a left hook, too.


Now, I was a little younger and a little smaller than my brother, but I kept up with him. I could dodge a jab just like he could, and I could hit just as hard as him, too. My father saw that. I think he wanted to make sure that my brother saw that as well.



梅根:是什幺激励了你创办女性机会联盟 Girls Opportunity Alliance,而你的目标又是什幺?
(女性机会联盟 Girls Opportunity Alliance 是一隶属在欧巴马基金会底下的计画,寻求教育管道来赋予青少女力量)

What inspired you to start the Girls Opportunity Alliance [a programme of the Obama Foundation that seeks to empower adolescent girls through education], and what is your goal?

蜜雪儿:今日,世界上有将近 9800 万青少女没有上学。对女孩来说,是一个悲剧,当然,对我们来说也是。想像一下我们正在错过的事情。我们知道,当我们教育女性,当我们真正地投资她们的潜能,所带来的美好将无可限量。受教育的女性拥有更健康的家庭,她们赚更多的薪水,当女性可以投身职场,世界也会享受他们投身带来的正向影响。

Today, nearly 98 million adolescent girls around the world are not in school. That’s a tragedy – for the girls, of course, but also for all of us. Think of everything we’re missing out on. We know that when we educate girls, when we truly invest in their potential, there is no limit to the good it can do.Girls who attend school have healthier families, they earn higher wages, and the world gets to experience the full expression of their gifts.


I formed the Girls Opportunity Alliance because I’ve seen the power of education in my own life. And I believe that every little girl, no matter her circumstances, deserves the opportunity to learn, grow and act on her knowledge.


So, we’re connecting grass-roots leaders already working on the ground in countries all over the world, helping them to learn from each other and get the resources, support and platform they need to lift up girls in communities that can use a boost. And we are grateful to all the people around the world who have supported this programme and are interested in taking action to help.



梅根:如果你坐在 15 岁的自己身旁,你认为她看见今日的成就,她会告诉你什幺?

If you were sitting down with your 15-year-old self, what do you think she would tell you, seeing who you have become today?

蜜雪儿:我爱死这个问题了。我 15 岁的时候很快乐,但青少年时期的我对自己有很高的期待与要求。所以,我猜想她应该会对我现在成为的样子感到很骄傲,但她不会轻易放过我。我感觉,她会对我代表认同的静静点头,你懂吧?

I love this question. I had a lot of fun when I was 15, but when it came right down to it, teenage-me was pretty by the book – straight As, through-the-roof standards for herself. So I imagine that she’d be proud of how far I’ve come – but she wouldn’t let me off the hook, either. I feel like she’d give me one of those silent nods of recognition, you know?


She’d remind me there are still too many girls on the South Side of Chicago who are being shushed, cast aside or told they’re dreaming too big. She’d tell me to keep fighting for them. If I’m being honest, she’d probably smile about how cute my husband is, too.



And now to shift gears for a moment, and end with a wild-card question...What is the most beautiful sound that you’ve ever heard?


When Malia and Sasha were newborns, Barack and I could lose hours just watching them sleep. We loved to listen to the little sounds they’d make – especially the way they cooed when they were deep into dreaming. Don’t get me wrong, early parenthood is exhausting. I’m sure you know a thing or two about that these days.


But there is something so magical about having a baby in the house. Time expands and contracts; each moment holds its own little eternity. I’m so excited for you and Harry to experience that, Meghan. Savour it all.






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